Hey dear Reader,

Have you ever chased a goal, only to realize it wasn’t yours to begin with?

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on ambition. It's such a celebrated trait these days. Look at what’s possible if only you want it! You can have it all if you work hard enough! It’s tough, but you can do it!

Ambition sounds confident. Determined. Maybe even a little aggressive?

But a lot of us don’t really know what we want. Most people don’t have a five- or ten-year plan. Or if they do, it doesn’t necessarily fit into today’s narrow definition of success (money, power, status...). So we either feel lost, chase someone else’s dream, or go after goals simply because they’re the “next logical step.”

Like working hard to get promoted, only to realize the new role makes us miserable.

It made me wonder: When is it right to push yourself, and when is it okay to sit one out?

You may know that I love running. So it might surprise you that a marathon isn’t on my bucket list. For a long time, I assumed it should be. I told myself that one day, I’ll be ready to push. One day, I’ll go for it.

Because isn’t that what comes next?

Eventually, I realized I had no real desire to run a marathon. For me, running is about joy and balance. Not performance. If I did go for it, my competitive side would turn it into stress, pressure, and worry. For what?

Let’s call that a Marathon Goal. A goal that looks good from the outside, but doesn’t align with your values on the inside.

Here’s the contrast:

A while ago, I was asked to give a training session on interviewing to a group of young men just starting their careers. Not my usual audience. Not even close to what I typically do. My first instinct? Say no.

Especially since I’m working on better boundaries. And at first glance, it seemed like a lot of effort with little return. Plus, I knew my perfectionist tendencies would bring stress, pressure, and worry.

But I said yes.

Why?

Because it felt meaningful. I could genuinely help. It wasn’t just work, it was aligned with my values. A challenge that made me grow. A chance to step out of my comfort zone in a way that energized me. ...and I even had some fun along the way!

(I visited the class last week and it was a success!)

Let’s call this a Values-Driven Challenge. Something that stretches you, but also feeds your energy because it connects to what is important to you.

Psychologists call this intrinsic motivation. We thrive when our goals support our autonomy, a sense of purpose, and meaningful connection. Not just external rewards.

So if you’re currently pushing yourself and it just feels hard, exhausting, or lonely, ask yourself: Why am I doing this? For what? And for whom?

If it’s not in line with your values and direction, it’s okay to let it go. Your time and energy are too precious.

But if it’s meaningful and truly matters to you, that’s worth the stretch. Even if it’s a little scary.

So, what are you pushing for these days? Is it a Marathon Goal or a Values-Driven Challenge?

I’d love to hear from you. And if you’re feeling stuck or unsure about your focus, reach out and let’s explore it together.

Keep shining,
Yvonne

P.S. Many people are intrinsically motivated to run a marathon. That’s the beauty of being human. We’re all wired differently, and that’s what gives life its color.

Yvonne Durand​ Passionate Life & Career Coach Enthusiastic HR Consultant Yvolve LLC, Switzerland | www.yvolve.me​

​

​​​​