You've built a life that looks good on paper. So why does something feel off? I write about the patterns behind that question, at work and beyond, and the small, intentional steps forward. Sneak peek below and sign up for the full experience 🤗
She'll handle it 👀
|
Hey dear Reader, A while back, I wrote about parenthood and careers. Many of you reached out, commented publicly, shared privately. It turned into a full article because it touched something real. But I want to go further, because the conversation is bigger than parenthood. I'm lucky to have a broad network. Not everyone in my life is a parent, and I've had equally candid conversations with people who have no children. What goes unsaid: the professional struggles don't disappear without kids. They shift. One client told me she was routinely asked to cover during school holidays because she was assumed to be more available. She was upset but didn't know how to advocate for herself. Another client was handed a major project on top of an already full workload because, well, what else does she have going on? I've also heard from child-free women that they're required to stay late or attend the evening client event without question. Their commitments outside of work are treated as easier to move, postpone, or sacrifice. And when a colleague with kids needs flexibility, it seems a given. When they need the same, it becomes a case to argue and justify. Resentment can build in both directions. Women with children and women without can each feel that the other's reality is better understood and accommodated than their own. But I rarely see men carry this weight the same way. Fathers still receive praise for doing what mothers do invisibly every day. "He's such a present dad" is said with genuine admiration. When was the last time you heard someone say that about a mother? More broadly, women are often the ones doing the planning, organizing, remembering, coordinating, and emotional labor, both at work and at home, whether they have children or not. The details may differ, but the underlying dynamic is usually the same: women absorb whatever extra weight is needed to keep things running. This isn't about holding scores. I'm sharing it as a prompt to be a little more curious and a little less quick to judge. And yes, the criticism doesn't only come from men. We tell ourselves that women are tough on each other, but in my experience that's too simple. Women support each other deeply and genuinely. What surfaces as judgment is more often exhaustion and frustration looking for somewhere to land. So rather than letting that divide us, here's what I'd love to invite instead: a conversation. Talk with a colleague about their experience. Speak up when you notice something that feels unequal. Ask for help or offer it. If you're a leader, discuss how your workplace could better support the different rhythms people carry. Get specific about what success looks like, how work is measured, and whether those standards are applied equally. You don't need to have all the answers to begin. Starting the conversation is the whole point. What's your experience with this? I'd love to hear, and I welcome a different perspective if you see it another way. Keep shining,
|
Yvonne Durand
You've built a life that looks good on paper. So why does something feel off? I write about the patterns behind that question, at work and beyond, and the small, intentional steps forward. Sneak peek below and sign up for the full experience 🤗
Hey dear Reader, Some of the people I work with are functioning, showing up, and achieving. But they're carrying much more than they let on. For a while now, I've felt that my coaching toolbox wasn't quite enough to support them in the way I wanted to. So I went back to school for a Certificate of Advanced Studies in goal-oriented counseling, with a focus on mental health. In my conversations with clients, I often see successful, experienced professionals set out to achieve something. They...
Hey dear Reader, Have you ever chased a goal, only to realize it wasn’t yours to begin with? Lately, I’ve been reflecting on ambition. It's such a celebrated trait these days. Look at what’s possible if only you want it! You can have it all if you work hard enough! It’s tough, but you can do it! Ambition sounds confident. Determined. Maybe even a little aggressive? But a lot of us don’t really know what we want. Most people don’t have a five- or ten-year plan. Or if they do, it doesn’t...